Tag Archives: family

Claiming Your Identity

We are back from yet another wonderful visit with family and friends at home in Indiana.  My husband and I were childhood sweethearts, so we are lucky in that home is home for both of us.  Today I am catching up on bills, sequestering fruit flies from a piece of fruit gone bad on the counter while we were gone, and killing mildew on clothes left inadvertently in the washing machine for ten days.

I am looking at an invoice to the local YMCA.  It is addressed to Dr. and Mrs. Fites.  Normally, I’d just write the check and send it off.  But today, I crossed through Dr. and Mrs. Fites and wrote The Doctors Fites above it.  Why?  Why does it matter?  Why am I feeling so pesky about this today?  I am typically the last person to care what you call me, as long as you don’t make me cry.

I’ll tell you why.  With the addition of our fourth child to our family, I’ve gotten less and less time.  Which makes me feel less and less like me.  And less and less like a valuable contributor to society.  I KNOW this is not right!  My husband tells me every  day how my raising our daughters makes a difference in our lives, their lives, and to how they fit into society.  And I am very comfortable staying home, cooking, cleaning, learning, and teaching.  Yet, the loss of control that a toddler imparts to a home and life is challenging for some of us.  Toddlers make you forget things.  Toddlers make you lose things.  Toddlers scream.  Toddlers are unpredictable.  Toddlers leave no cabinet, drawer, shelf, or basket unturned.  Toddlers don’t let you cook when you want.  Sleep when you want.  Exercise when you want.

However, it’s not just about the toddler.  Two days ago I decided to spruce up the living area.  My daughters all came in, “Ooh.  Mom.  That looks nice.”  Then, they decided they all had ideas too on where things should go and how they should be placed.  In MY living room.  Mine.  Mine.  Mine.  My head.  My space.  My time.  Mine.

No.  Hard stop.  Wait.  It’s a family of six.  Brain–take a ticket.  You’re sixth in line.

So, today, I am Doctor Fites.  Tomorrow, I will go back to being Terri.  Mom.  Or Mrs.  Even “Hey, You.”

But not today.  (Smile.)

Do you ever feel like life spins around you, and so, sometimes, you stamp your foot and say, “Not today.  Today I get what I earned.”?  Today, I am ____________________.  Insert your word.  Insert what you worked for and don’t want to leave completely behind.  You earned it.

Back to bills.

Molly Green Magazine Published Twenty Tips I Wrote Up To Help Families With Diet Change

 

 

“Is this Your New Year’s Resolution?  Tips to Transition to a Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free Lifestyle,” an excerpt from Molly Green Magazine

(an article by Terri Fites)

“. . . Expect resistance and outside cheating. There may be fits, pouting, defiance, and outside cheating. Failure, both intentional and unintentional, will occur. Be prepared to regroup, identify chinks in the plan, and get back on track. Remember how manyMG 1 times you had (have) to tell your kids to say “please” before they actually did (do) it!

Recognize the difference between an allergy and intolerance/sensitivity.

Tell kids what symptoms you’re watching for so they can recognize when they disappear or worsen in response to diet. Kids with uncomfortable symptoms like stuffy noses, sneezing, coughing, constipation, upset stomachs, headaches, eczema, reflux, and trouble focusing often will self-regulate their diets once they get to feeling better . . .”

Click HERE for the FULL ARTICLE.

*************************************************

Molly Green MagazineIf you’re interested, I wrote an article for Molly Green Magazine, a magazine all about the home:  homeschooling, homemaking, home industry, and homesteading.  Titled “Tips to Transition to a Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free Diet,” my article highlights what I learned as I transitioned my food-sensitive family to a whole foods, gluten-free, and dairy-free diet.  I do not get paid to write; it is a hobby I enjoy.  I just thought if you were struggling to pull your family along to better, whole foods eating, and working through some food elimination, you might enjoy the article.  (And I don’t think it’s fair to blog readers or magazine readers to replicate material verbatim.)  My kids and I did not really come willingly to this lifestyle, but even they can now admit that they feel better.  You can get this magazine edition for free.  There are some other great articles in there, too, which actually tie right in with the theme of this blog (nutrition, homeschooling, families, etc):

  • Cilantro/Coriander: One Plant with Many Applications
  • Why My Husband and I Still Hold Hands
  • Cultivating Talent and Passion in Children
  • Could You Grow Your Own Food in a Crisis?
  • Basic Hive Protection (about bees)
  • The Emotions of Butchering
  • Meal Planning 101: How to Get It Done
  • Fighting the Winter Blues

Molly Green Magazine 2I believe the editor told me they were going to make my article from Molly Green Magazine into a one-page lay out that may be hung on the refrigerator, in case that’s something that would interest you.  Although its title suggests that I’m simply interested in gluten-free and dairy-free changes, you’ll know from reading my blog that that is not the case.  So many of the health ailments of our society are directly linked to poor nutrition.  I focus on getting people to eat whole foods, lots of vegetables and fruits, and then watching out for side effects of foods, adjusting things as needed.

It is two weeks into January.  If you have failed, IT IS OKAY.  Do not use that chip as an excuse to throw away a perfectly good mug.  Get back to work.  One day at a time.  And weave that into strings of days at a time.  And eventually, create a masterpiece diet just for you to last a whole lifetime.  DON’T GIVE UP.  If you do, CPAP machines, multiple prescriptions, and a more and more sedentary life await you.

~~Terri

 

There’s Nothing Wrong With Simplifying Things

wpid-IMAG0940.jpgTry saying “no” to others outside of your house this week.

Try saying “yes” to those inside of your house this week.

Protect those evening hours for family as long, as hard, and as often as you can this year.

Decide to withdraw yourself and your children from activities that no longer seem beneficial for those involved.  You know the ones.  The ones your spirit grumbles inside about.  Try the activity again next year as the kids are older or life has changed.  Feel guilty a moment and then live in the freedom.  Find peace, but don’t be selfish.   It’s not about you.  It’s about family dynamics. You can teach Sunday School when the kids are older.  The kids can take up piano in fifth grade rather than kindergarten.  You can play in the volleyball league next year. 

You need help.  Do chores together with those in the house.  Laugh when they don’t do it right.  And then laugh at yourself because you’re upset that they’re not folding a towel right.  You heard me.  Folding a towel right.

Get rid of stuff, and don’t buy more.  Clutter hurts.  Having extra money in a pinch soars.

Get off of media and technology.  I swear we’re raising a generation that can’t communicate, relate, and recognize reality.  I refuse to accept that for my children.  (Got to go now myself.)

There’s nothing wrong with simplifying things.  Go on.  Give it a try.  You can.  You’re allowed.  What are you afraid of?

(BOO!)

Still in the draft bin:  Beet Salad and More Metametrix