Tag Archives: diet encouragement

Encouragement and Self-Inquiry for Those Struggling with Food

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I have just always liked food, even to the point of food addiction, I’d say. About six years ago when I changed to a whole, real food diet for gastrointestinal health issues, I saw the huge effects different foods had on me (and my brain). I promised myself that for the rest of my life I would keep eating whole, real food that I tolerated well, and I would stay away from processed foods and foods that inflamed my body.

I have failed at times in this, sometimes by conscious choice and other times by rash decisions. But I have always come back to where I need to be, and I want you to, too.

I don’t know what’s in your head. I don’t know the life experiences or the kind of parents you have had. I can’t help you.

But I do believe you can help yourself from the inside out. You really can. I genuinely hope that you succeed in changing any mindsets that keep you locked in place. Here are some questions to challenge your food and weight concerns, and also some encouragement for you today.

Lies We Tell Ourselves

“It’s too much to lose…”

“I am 50 pounds overweight. I’ve lost 8.1256, but I have 50 more to go. That overwhelms me because the number is so big….”

This is all fairly objective information which is easily verifiable by measurements and a BMI chart, except for the “number is so big” part. Is it “so big?”

If I told you that you had to pick up 50 sticks in the yard, would that be scary? Or that you had to go to the store 50 times this week? Or find 50 things in your house that you HAD to get rid of? It would be hard, but I know you could do it.

“So big” is one pound at a time. When you start thinking about 100 pounds or eating this way for forever, that’s when it becomes SO BIG. Too big! Focus on today. Focus on this meal. Focus on this bite. Focus on the little, and the “so big” becomes reality over time, in small pieces.

“I’m doubtful I can do it because food is too delicious…”

Is the food too delicious? Then, and I’m not kidding, choose blander, whole, real foods. (First and foremost, your diet needs to be mostly whole, real foods anyhow. If it’s not, you need to start there.)

But if you’re still overweight on real, whole foods, then it’s time to make it even more whole and more real. For example, I consider roasted and salted nuts as real food—BUT plain, raw nuts are even “more real.” And boy do I eat a heck of a lot less of them!

I consider homemade mashed potatoes as real food, but I eat a lot more of those than I do plain baked potatoes with just salt and pepper.

You have to eat. But if you overeat, you may need to set boundaries around the flavor of your food.

“I have too much stress in my life…”

Do you have too much stress in your life? Why? Do you need to let go of negative relationships? Do you need to change the dance of a negative relationship to empower yourself? Do you need to back out of commitments you promised you’d do? Do you need to change jobs? Do you need to move?

Most of my stress comes from how I think about things and also taking on too much. Maybe if I can change how I think about things, I can change how I think about and treat food. Maybe if I don’t take on too much, I won’t need to self-medicate my stress with food.

“I think I am too weak…”

Do you think you’re weak? Why? Do you have low self-esteem? Do you have too much self-doubt? Are you too perfectionistic and you can’t live up to your standards so you don’t try? Are you in a relationship which berates you daily?

Can you think of times and areas you are strong in? If so, you’re not weak, you are weak in specific areas and just need some work in those.

I repeat: You are not weak. You have weak areas that, once you identify and choose to deal with, you really can reconstruct with the rebar of change, self-acceptance, and love.

You are strong. Look for your strengths and use them to administer to your weaknesses, and you will see your food life change.

Challenges We Face

“I don’t like to prepare food or cook…”

Would it help to prepare food with a friend? Could you eat more raw food? If you lost weight, would it be easier to cook because your knees would feel better? If you’re eating real, whole foods right for you, would you have more energy? Would one of your children who likes to cook be willing to make things you can eat if you explain to them you need some help losing weight for good?

You can navigate around this! Find a way! Talk it out with a trusted friend or family member!

“It irritates my husband (or wife) that I eat this way and won’t eat or drink with him (or her) and our friends…”

Are you neglecting yourself and your own needs in your marriage and food is simply another expression of that? Could you find something to share with your spouse, like a steak or a glass of dry, red wine that wouldn’t tip your eating over the cliff? Are you being too condescending towards your husband or wife with regards to his or her eating habits? Could you be a little less rigid and still succeed?

Relationships are the best, but only if you bring your whole self and your best self to the table.

Closing

These are just a few thoughts. Maybe you have more! Maybe you can share some inspiration for others in the comment box! It’s Christmas time, and this is probably the biggest six-week food challenge of the year! Let’s support one another. Even if you don’t like people. 😉

Don’t spend too much. Don’t eat too much. Don’t take on too much. And let your emotional baggage go.

Signing off.

Terri F

More Diet Advice to a Friend

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You’re “fat” and you’re determined to do something about that. But you’re overwhelmed at the road ahead of you, which you’ve skipped down before, thinking, “This time! This time!” Darn it– that time and that time must have been circular highways, because somehow you ended back here at fat again.

Again. Again. Why is it always again? You’ve lost 8.1256 pounds this month’s go-round, but do you really have what it takes to ditch 50 pounds for FORever?

Forever means like, well, forever. Never stop. Ever. Suddenly, you dip your head, slump your shoulders, let out a deep sigh, and look at the ground. Maybe I can’t do it, you think. Why try?

Why try? Why try? I’ll tell you why. For every ray of sunshine that rises in the morning. For every star in the evening sky. For every smudge on the wall from the hand of your child. For every kiss from your husband. For me writing this post. For you wanting it so badly. For your liver, heart, brain, hormones, ovaries (if you have them) and knees, all weight-sensitive body parts.

Don’t be overwhelmed. You can do this! While it IS all about the long haul, the victory is won in the moment! Every moment presents each of us with the same important question: Will I keep my motivation in this moment? Not, “Will I keep my motivation for a year?” Or, “Can I eat this way for 30 days?” NO. Repeatedly for the rest of our lives the question is, “Will I keep my motivation in THIS moment?” And if you don’t, you truly, really do have the next moment.

Motivational Baloney

That’s great talk, Terri. That’s  motivational. For a moment. Till I fail. Motivational speakers help us for a moment. And only a moment. Everybody knows that.

That’s right. That’s right. That’s 100% true. The only person who can change anything is you. But I believe in you.

My mom once told me, “Terri, I wish I had your self-confidence.” I about fell off of my chair. First, this is the woman who made me most of who I am. Second, I’m not that self-confident. I believe in myself. I believe I can find a way. I don’t give up easily when handed a problem. But when I was on the volleyball end-line serving the game-point serve for the win, I really didn’t want to be there, despite a 98% successful serving percentage. When I started writing about nutrition, I was scared, thinking maybe the die-hard Paleo, Raw Foodists, low-carbers, Mediterranean dieters, or heck, even the food pyramid advocates were right. Doubt assailed, and continues to assail, me like a mad hornet. I have enough self-doubt for about 20 people. (Want some? No, no. That’s not why I’m here. I’m here to show you it can be done, self-doubt and all.)

I’m helping my good friend Annie again with her forever weight loss plan, and I’m sharing things we talk about. I don’t know if I’m “qualified” or not. I’m not a nutritionist or a health coach or even a practicing physician anymore. You should check out everything you read here and not act blindly on any of it, especially health-related stuff. I can’t know the ins and outs of your story. I know I once struggled with bulimia and food addiction. I know obesity runs in my family. I know I’ve gained a new assurance around food, what I eat, and why I eat it with each passing year, and I know it’s required a hard look at my diet, my thought life, my history, my spirituality, and my driving motivation.

I’ve read about obese people losing all their weight and arriving at skinny, only to realize it didn’t provide the peace and security they envisioned. I don’t want that for any of you. This means interior work must be a priority as well as exterior work. I believe we are presented with problems in life to reach wholeness. It’s better than any video game you could ever play or design.

Doubtful and overwhelming thoughts crave full expression, not submersion. 

We’re only as strong as our ability to express our greatest weaknesses and fears. If you want to put obesity behind you, you have to face-to-face encounter your negative feelings. Instead of submerging negative feelings, they MUST be met and offered the light of day. I mean, for crying out loud, they’re there! The way people try to hide things is almost comical, if it wasn’t so sad. Hiding dirty socks under the bed for too long just keeps the room SMELLY!

I beg you to work very hard all day to catch negative emotions and name them. They are the junk food poisoning your brain and keeping you obese, telling you words like:

  • always
  • never
  • failure
  • can’t do it
  • too much
  • overwhelmed
  • stressed
  • weak
  • ugly
  • fat
  • too hard

So remember.

Permanently losing weight comes one choice, each moment at a time. You can change any bad choice now and from this choice onward.

Permanently losing weight requires cleaning up your thought life by identifying your feelings and expressing them fully to yourself. Start this assignment today. Now. (And teach it to your kids and spouse.) How did this article make you feel? Why?

Weight loss itself will NOT bring you happiness. Permanently changing the patterns that keep you on the circular highway of weight loss will.

You are worth it. Your body is worth it. Your kids are worth it. Your spouse is worth it. Your God is worth it. Persist despite your awareness of self-doubt.

I’ll keep sharing ideas that Annie and I discuss as they come up. There are MANY. If permanent weight loss was just moderately hard, you’d have done it a long time ago!

Terri

 

 

Help Me Stop This Destructive Pattern

8 Replies

Okay, dear friend. You said you can’t stop eating. You asked me to set you straight. So here it is.

  • ONE) It is winter. The body is craving dense, high fat, high caloric foods. It wants food. The light is low. It’s freezing. The body knows what it has done for thousands of years. Thank it for doing a good job for you. Its job.
  • TWO) Eat your foods. Enjoy them. Eat them gone. Eat a little then toss them. However you want. Binge. Savor over days. Eat them plain. Make your favorite dish with them. However. Be happy that food tastes so good. That temporarily it makes you feel so good! What joy is there in eating cardboard?
  • THREE) Accept you will feel crumby for a few days. Accept it may even exacerbate things over the next month. Don’t fight it. Don’t beat yourself up. Just accept it. You did what you did. You had your reasons. And now, you’ll journey forward. Pointing fingers simply wastes time and emotional resources. Pointing fingers is not productive except to tell you that there is resentment, fear, and anger.
  • FOUR) Resolve, after the food is eaten, to move from this place. You know your safe diet. You know what you like to eat to feel your best. Reassure your body that the feasting and celebration was great, and you thoroughly enjoyed it. You have let guilt go in favor of true appreciation. But you will now move back to where it likes to live. Routines are nice. Routines are reassuring. Rigid schedules are not. You’ve proved you’re not rigid. Good. But get back to the routine if you know that is ideal for you.
  • FIVE) When you try to get back to your routine, and you keep falling off, explore that. Again, no pointing fingers. That’s wasteful. Look. Are you really hungry? Are you really bored? Are you really sad? Are you really just wanting a distraction from the kids or the housework? Are you feeling sorry for yourself because it takes more work for you to feel good compared to other people? Are you simply tired?Then, ask yourself, what can you do. What can you do to go back to your routine? Is that routine really best for you? Or is there something about your food routine you need to change that is keeping you from easily jumping back on board? Do you need to eat earlier? Do you need to include a food that you know is marginal in your tolerance? Do you need to deal with a relationship? Are you feeling trapped by your diet, lifestyle, life?

    A struggle with the routine says there’s something that needs communicated to yourself. Either about the routine itself or the person who wants to adhere to the routine. Maybe it’s not the right routine. Or maybe it is, but the acceptance isn’t there. Just the ten pointing fingers. (Pointing fingers. Again, I say. Bad.)

  • SIX) NOW, GET YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT AND DO WHAT NEEDS DONE!!!!!!! WITH LOVE AND COMPASSION! 🙂 And recognize, it may not be what you thought at the beginning needed done!
Merry Christmas time! What a wonderful time! If you’re feeling stressed and frazzled, regroup. Prioritize. Lower or change expectations. Accept. Offer love and compassion to others and yourself.
The Homeschooling Doctor logoTerri

Why Shouldn’t I Eat That?

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Choosing healthful foods has not always been so easy for me. I have an intrinsic sweet tooth and intense carbohydrate cravings (which aren’t necessarily bad things if I stick to whole, real foods). Knowledge keeps me on track. I think knowledge helps keep us all on track.

Today, if you don’t already know, I’d like to share briefly with you about why

  • choosing fresh vegetables, including root vegetables, and fruits;
  • avoiding food preservatives found in foods and drinks; and
  • limiting sweeteners and sweetened foods

MATTERS!

In your intestines live trillions of bacteria which are supposed to be there. They are called your “microbiome” and they

  • break down and beneficially use substances in foods that your own body simply cannot.
  • transform toxins (and potential toxins–like any food dyes or pesticides you ingest) that you eat into something the body can get rid of.
  • make substances to inhibit the growth of illness-causing bacteria that you may come in contact with, like Salmonella or stomach viruses.
  • make your own personal nutritional supplements, like B vitamins, vitamin K, and necessary fatty acids.
  • help you regulate blood sugars, obesity, and your moods.

Choosing real, whole foods supports these helpful bacteria. Eating sugar-laden, preservative-laden, boxed foods deprives your body of the  help it needs from these bacteria. Every day, every bite is a choice.  Will I choose to strip my colon of these beneficial bacteria, or will I take the high road?

Will I eat for me? Or for my tongue? Or for the person whose feelings will be hurt if I decline?

I know what makes me feel best day-to-day. I know about the bacteria in there. I know what harms them. I can share my knowledge with my kids and husband in a loving, kind way so that they may also have the knowledge and power to choose.

I can share my knowledge with you that maybe you can go about your life making better choices day in and day out.

Don’t obsess. Don’t fret. There are times to eat cake. There are times of joy and feasting. But day in and day out, I’ve got some bacteria I want to take care of.

How about you?

Terri

PS: I know there is SO much conflicting information out there about what is and isn’t healthy. Meat. No meat. Grains. No grains. Beans. No beans. Carbs. No carbs. Dairy. No dairy. If you are a person who gets lost and confused in all of this, simply focus on making your choices as close to nature as possible. Read EVERY label if there’s a label. Honest and pure is what you want. Just like your honey’s heart.

Questions (and comments) always welcomed on this safe spot. And as always, don’t use my blog information as medical guidance.