Questions My Husband Asks Me

postcards2cardsnewyearsresolution1915So, how’s the family togetherness stuff going? Insanely ready for school (and work) to start again?

Here? We’ve had more family togetherness time here, too. Meaning, dad’s been around loads more. And boy, has he interrogated the heck out of me. This man is full of parenting questions.

I hope today’s post makes you smirk and smile as you head into the new year with kids and a spouse. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

On kids and socks:

“Put your socks on! You can’t go without socks! Does your mom let you go without socks? Honey, do you let them go without socks!?”

Yes, sweetie. Socks are optional. I mean, I wear socks. You wear socks. But if my kids don’t want socks, then who needs socks? Five people times two socks per person equals 10 socks. I can’t keep track of that many feet. And they’re wearing snow boots, for heaven’s sake! Tsk. Tsk. You really shouldn’t have married outside your social class if you wanted your kids to wear socks.

On kids and sleep:

“Its 9 o’clock in the morning! They’re still sleeping! When do you make them get out of bed? I mean, how are they going to learn that in the real world you have a job and responsibility?”

They were spontaneously up at 5:15 am on Christmas morning. How early does it need to be for you need to feel reassured they can pull themselves out of bed with an alarm clock? Come on! Parenting 101: Never wake a sleeping child.

On kids and getting ready:

“It’s 10:30 in the morning now. Kids, go get out of your pajamas! How long do you let them stay in their pajamas!?”

Babe, you have four girls. Sixteen. Just remember the word “sixteen.” Mirrors. Make up. Flattening irons. Sweet sixteen. Your girls will get out of their pajamas. I promise. They don’t stay little forever.

On a homeschooling mom still in her pajamas:

“Well, when do you get out of your pajamas? You wanna’ go change?”

I receive friends, plumbers and electricians in these clothes. I teach grammar and algebra in these clothes. I cook gourmet lunches in these clothes. No. These clothes are fine. Thanks. I’ll change when I have time.

On getting kids out the door:

“It’s time to go. Why aren’t they down here? I told them five minutes ago it was time to go! How’s come they can’t get into the car? Don’t you make them get into the car?”

Never. I found it’s much easier to stay put in the house and be weird recluses. No, no. I’m joshing. We actually follow the “Three-Yells Process.” First yell means nothing. Second yell means move downstairs. Third yell means, you got it—- go to the bathroom! When the house is silent that means mom’s in the car backing out of the garage shrieking about being late—and you’d better get out there shoes in hand if they’re not on your feet already.

On kids and forgetfulness:

“That one forgot her book for violin and that one forgot her shoes for basketball. Why can’t they ever remember their stuff?  Do you always take them their stuff? I never forgot my stuff. My mom didn’t just pop in and bring me my stuff. I had to remember it.”

Good. That’s all I say: “Good.” Dead-pan flat. (This is a good technique for touchy subjects. One word. Dead-pan flat. Try it. It won’t work if you have any reaction, though. You  have to be flat. Think flat.)

But, if I’m pressed, I use the nose picking explanation. Kids forget stuff. It’s what they do. Just like little kids always pick their nose. No parent wants their kids to do it, but they do. We teach them patiently how to do things differently, and slowly they conform.

On spouses wanting a warm welcome home:

“Why don’t you hug and kiss me when I come home early from work?”

Just be glad I didn’t hand you the diaper, the spatula, the craft, the math, and the toilet plunger. I’ll be happy to give you a hug and a kiss, but you’re fifth in line. Stand over there till your turn.

On coffees and play dates:

“You’re having another coffee and play date?”

Did you really want to play Candy Land again?

On taking on too much:

“I thought you said you had enough to do! Why did you tell her ‘yes’?”

Glare.

On family movie time:

“Honey, we’re watching a movie. What are you still doing up here? I thought we were going to watch it all together. We’ve been waiting to start it.”

Aaah. Family movie time. My husband has the kids held captivated in one spot. What a good time for a peaceful bath. Oh, yes. I’m coming. I’ll be there. Just a minute. Go ahead and start it without me…

Closing

Happy New Year to you! I’m going to go get people out of their pajamas! And scrounge up some socks. At least in 2017 it’s socially acceptable for them to not match! When I was a kid, I was ostracized by a clique for not wearing matching socks. I can still hear the words, “Your socks don’t match.” Oh, the times.

Family life is joy. Find the humor in the situation. Face each new day, and yourself, with a bit of laughter and a smile. Blessings on your 2017.

Terri

Image source: Wikipedia. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Year’s_resolution) Attribution: “By not known; one on left is published by “Chatauqua Press”, as stated near the bottom of the card in tiny type [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons”

 

14 thoughts on “Questions My Husband Asks Me

  1. kemkem

    Haha!!! This indeed gave me both a smile and a smirk! Federico sometimes drives me crazy with all the questions..haha..especially watching when watching a movie. They usually speak too fast for him to translate and so l end up not hearing the next bit because he has to know right there and then.. 🙂 🙂 . Happy New Year!

    Reply
  2. calle

    I married a Type A farm boy professional Controller.

    I use to be Type A, but four kids, two who were MSPI and then to homeschool after being a college and medical school instructor.

    Men love order in work as well as home. Factories have systems, and me love systems.
    No thinking just acting.

    Some men make great Homeschool dad’s, others think we just play.
    Can the “super” mom, wife, daughter, professional name. And live.

    Happy New Year.

    Reply
    1. thehomeschoolingdoctor Post author

      Good afternoon, Calle! I’ve seen a lot of Type As smooth out their edges with four around—my husband and I counted in the ranks thereof. I’d say when we started this gig, we were both pretty controlling people. Ha!

      He’s a good one, though, and trusts me completely with the kids and the house, but he still has to ask questions. (Grin.) We’ve been together 30 years (20 of those married), so we’ve got each other down. And yes, he does like order, but with four kids, I tossed that out with the bathwater but managed to retrieve the baby…

      I agree with canning inflated ideas and just living truly from the heart!

      Happy New Year to you too!—-Terri

      Reply
  3. didee

    OMG! Sounds like you all need a vacation away somewhere Terri. Make it on a beach, sun shining and far, far away from home. That’s the only way some men realize you’re ALL on vacation and they can relax enough to realize they are too – and that you NEED one. (Leave him at home if he says no!) Its really hard to get out of the work/home routine into a holiday mood when you’re surrounded by everything that usually means work. It also the only way most women get a break away from all the endless go round of chores.
    I remember those days very well and, while my husband used to take about a week or longer to unwind when we didn’t go away (depending on the intensity of the situation at work), it took only about 30 minutes behind the wheel when we were vacationing somewhere else, even if only for a weekend. The holidays that we enjoyed & were most relaxing were spent camping, or in nature somehow. And the ones we talk most fondly about now (many, many years later) are the ones where we camped in the car (station wagon, 4 of us) and woke up with ice on the inside! The ones that cost the most never seemed to quite match up. All hotels are pretty much the same!
    Best wishes and a happy new year Terri. I hope there are lots of sunny, away vacations in your future. They’re such fabulous memory builders. Routine can stretch into eternity and its all so forgettable.

    Reply
    1. thehomeschoolingdoctor Post author

      Hi, didee! How are ya’!? You’re right about a vacation out! We make that a point or two every year! And it’s about due any day now… Because you’re right, if I’m in my house, there’s really no relaxing, wonderful as any holiday is! Holidays are often built on the backs of moms, eh.——But ice inside the car! Agh! I’m going to make sure I demand a WARM destination! And I usually win. (Grin.) We love to hike, swim, and kayak. Those are our favorites.

      Warm wishes to you.

      Reply
  4. Christine

    My stars woman, you should write sitcoms, my cheeks literally hurt from smiling through that one! (Couldn’t laugh out loud, husband is napping nearby. Marriage 101, never wake a napping husband).

    great stuff!!

    Reply
    1. thehomeschoolingdoctor Post author

      Agreed! Never wake a napping husband. [Now a wife, you can wake. Right? For example, wives, they have stellar night vision, and they can find the bathroom in a black hole. I’d never respectfully turn on the light to hit the bathroom. A man, now, he has to turn the main room light on to put his feet on the floor! (Slam. Pillow over my head.) 🙂 🙂 Or maybe yours isn’t like that? :-)] Glad to make even you smile! Yay! Find the joy in the wind, I’ve been told.

      Reply
  5. EmilyMaine

    Teehee thank you for sharing this! I hear Eric in a lot of those comments so that comforts me a little. It’s not just a MY house lol. Wishing your family a wonderful 2017 with optional socks and pjs and nobody minding at all 😉

    Reply
    1. thehomeschoolingdoctor Post author

      “…Wonderful 2017 with optional socks and PJs!” Hahaha! Good one! It is my thought that we hear good, hardworking, logical, conscientious people in these questions! Before I had kids, I would have thought this was totally not funny. LOL! Wish I could verbally tell you, “Have a great year.” But virtual will have to do.

      Reply
  6. Simple Days Making for Exciting Adventures

    Oh. I enjoyed that one. I love the questions!! I feel like my pajamas are not far from my scrubs so pajamas are good for working at home. Lol.
    This week I took off from cooking. It was pretty funny. You would have thought that the house had no food and I was intentionally starving everyone.
    Happy New Year to you and your family!

    Reply
    1. thehomeschoolingdoctor Post author

      I thought of scrubs when I thought of pajamas too! What’s the diff? See! Everyone has the same idea—HOW can we work in our pajamas? We ALL really, deep inside of us want to stay in pajamas.

      I can hear my kids now with a week off from cooking: What’s for breakfast? You never cook supper anymore. Kay’s mom cooks all the time for them. I don’t want eggs today. Fruit doesn’t sound good. Are you okay? And so on!

      Take good, good care and have joy!

      Reply
  7. Lesq

    Okay you already know I think your awesome!! You already know I think we are both either Lucy, Ethel or a combo of both and this post has left me 😂😂😂😂!! I am with my husband thirty-one years and married 29!😱😱😱 I hear ya girl! Have a great year with health, happiness and peace.

    Reply

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