A Mothering Question

Today I asked myself a question as I was unloading the dishwasher.  Strangely, I never thought to ask myself this question before today.

Would I want myself for a mother?

Why?  Why not?

I’m off to think on this some more.  I don’t think I’ll ask my kids this question.  I’ll just chew on it myself.  Have an absolutely beautiful day, from this moment forward.


15 thoughts on “A Mothering Question

  1. Camie

    My kids have actually thanked me for being their mom after getting to know their friends’ moms or witnessing other moms in action. 😉 It’s not that these other moms are bad. It’s more that my kids appreciate my qualities after seeing the differences in how other moms parent.

    1. thehomeschoolingdoctor Post author

      Dear Camie,

      Ah, I had to laugh! My mom could have written what you said in your comment about me when I was a child. She still teases me about how I wanted to go live with one of my friend’s mom. (But without a doubt, my mom was the best mom for me!)

      [Elapsed time]

      Agh! I had to pause in mid-comment from above and put the baby to bed and the supper dishes in the dishwasher. As I did that, I had a worse thought as my husband is waiting on me to come sit a bit (and waiting…and waiting…and still waiting…): Would I want to be MARRIED to me!?

      Good night!

      1. thehomeschoolingdoctor Post author

        WHAT!? Calm my thoughts! Are you kidding? 😉 Ah, well. I suppose I HAVE tried. Yes. Yes. But I’ve resigned myself to the fact that that’s what sleep and meditation are for. Luckily, I do those well. 🙂 Hope it was warm and sunny today your way! XX

    1. thehomeschoolingdoctor Post author

      I liked this woman’s, Jessica Flanigan, post off of my post. I’ll try to copy and paste it and also link to her FB page. I’m not sure how to link to a particular FB post that doesn’t come from a site or I’d just link it for you to go to.

      “How do we take the first step to love ourselves? I get that question a lot. This is a really great exercise from The Homeschooling Doctor. My daughter loves me unconditionally. But do I? I had to face the pieces inside of myself recently that was holding some powerful stories when I ask “Would I want myself as a mother” and I had to own that a lot of times I would answer “no” to that question. And when I look at how I heal my life, it is sitting there and working THAT out. Then we start healing our life, then the body heals. That happened after my daughter was born and I had pretty severe postpartum depression. Add in my own history of spending the first month of my life as a premie in an incubator not being held, touched or breastfed..well I thought years later, me being a mother was a mistake. I did not have what it took to be a mother. I towed that story line for 11 years. Until decided to be vulnerable enough to look at that piece inside of me that held this sad belief that I was a horrible mother. I decided that maybe the way to heal that belief was to be kind, loving and compassionate to that piece of me (Instead of fixing me) that I felt had failed. I decided to look at scary questions like, did I mess up my daughter? Could I heal that piece of me? Could I think myself worthy of being a mother? Would I let myself grieve that? So I let that clunky, unsure, scared premature baby in me come play with me. It was like letting the scrappy, unpopular, bruised and ill-dressed kid come sit at the cool kids table. I practiced loving her every day for weeks, and I realized that piece of me that I had though had failed but was actually just sad and needed love. I let her meet me in my present life. And it healed. That is how disease can assist us as well. And here is how powerful this kind of Love is: When I healed that place inside of myself, the lifelong physical issue my daughter has had with what we call in our house “Shortness of breath” finally was resolved. After 5 doctors (2 of which are top specialists at UCSF..a pulmonologist and ENT who could find nothing wrong with her) I finally found a practitioner who practices visceral work. One appt. with her and my daughters issue resolved 80%. Touching love to the places that need love. It is as simple as that the farther I go into this work.”

      She’s really encouraging and wrote a book called The Loving Diet. https://www.facebook.com/AutoimmuneProtocolDiet/

      You’re getting so close to delivery! Room ready yet!? 🙂


    1. thehomeschoolingdoctor Post author

      It struck me, and not in a negative way. Kind of a motivational way. Like, look at that area. You’d have love that. Hmmm. That approach, well, that would have not been the best way for me as a kid. Anyhow–I hope you have a good rest of the week!

  2. andthreetogo

    I am now wondering this question as well. I feel like Z has quite a different life from me, but I probably would not have liked myself no matter what (I have a difficult time with authority). 🙂

    1. thehomeschoolingdoctor Post author

      Me, too, if it doesn’t make sense.— Z has such a unique life! Wow! I would love to hear her tell stories in 20 years (which she’ll probably be very good at with her parents’ genes!).

      1. andthreetogo

        Me too honestly 🙂 I love nothing more than hearing her little voice telling me about her day, a new story she has made up, or singing a little tune she’s made up.

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